• Verbal: Teasing, name- calling, mocking, spreading rumours.
• Physical: Kicking, punching, nipping, pushing, tripping up, physical threats. This may involve demanding money or pressuring the person into action they are reluctant to take part in.
• Sexual: This extents to both girls and boys and can take the form of verbal comments, gestures. The comments my relate to the persons body parts, their sexual orientation or sexual activities.
• Emotional: Name calling, mocking, isolating (excluding the person from activities), belittling, humiliating and tormenting.
• Racist: This may include all form of bullying but is carried out because of the persons race, culture or ethnicity.
• Cyber bullying: This is any form of bullying which takes place online or through social networking sites, smartphones and tablets.

• Willy the wimp by Anthony Browne.
• Troll Stinks! by Jeanne Willis & Tony Ross – A good book for exploring the topic of cyber bullying.
• All the things that could go wrong by Stewart Foster (viewpoint for teenagers).
• Bad girls by Jacqueline Wilson & Nick Sharratt (deals with issues around friendships).
• Staying safe online by Louie Stowell.

• Knowbullying – explains the warning signs of bullying, offers advice on how to talk to your kids about bullying and includes important strategies for preventing bullying for kids in different age groups.
• Rethink – Stop cyberbullying – this app issues alerts such as “Would you like to reword this? Remember you are what you type!” when it detects hurtful language.
• Take a stand together – interactive scenarios that make kids think about what they’d do if they were being bullied or witnessed others being bullied.
• Bully button – Lets kids quietly record the bullying then quickly and effectively alerts their parents. It shows kids exact locations and makes it easy for parents to offer advice on what to do in real- time.

• If you do find your child is being bullied it is important you deal with it in a calm and reassuring way. This will help your child understand they are in a safe place and can talk freely.
• Listen to your child.
• Try to stay calm and not respond to your feelings. Reassure your child and let them know you are there to help. Give them the space and time to talk about what is happening and how they feel.
• Let your child know you are proud of them and remind them they are loved. Reassure them they have done the right thing and you are there to help them resolve this problem.

Dealing with your feelings:

As the adult it is important you show you are calm and able to deal with the situation. Have a look at the section on dealing with your feelings below.

Dealing with your feelings

You may feel anger, hurt, guilt, helplessness or fear. Your own memories of being a child may help you empathise and find solutions but they can also get in the way. Think about how you feel before reacting – or you may not be able to help as much as you want.

Be honest, be prepared to admit that you don’t know something and offer to help find an answer by searching the internet, calling a helpline, asking their school or by visiting the library together.  

Don’t be upset if your child wants to talk to other adults and friends about the problem. You, also, may find it helpful to discuss the matter confidentially with your friends – though preferably not with those whose children go to the same school.

Don’t charge off demanding to see the head teacher, the bully or the bully’s parents. This is usually the very reaction children dread and, according to Childline’s counsellors, can cause bullying to get worse.

Avoid telling your child to hit or shout names back. It simply doesn’t solve the problem and, if your child is under- confident (and most bullied children are) then it just adds to their stress and anxiety.

Never dismiss their experience: if your child has plucked up the courage to tell you about bullying, it’s crushing to be told to “sort it out yourself” or “it’s all part of growing up”

Don’t tell them to ignore it. This only teaches them that bullying has to be tolerated, rather than stopped – and sets them up for further bullying in the future. 

• Listen without getting angry or upset.
• Put your own feelings aside, sit down and actually listen to what your child is telling you – then show you have done so by ‘playing back’ to them what you hear.
• Ask you child: “How do you want me to take this forward?” rather than just taking over so they don’t feel excluded from deciding what to do or end up even more stressed/ worried than they were already.
• Reassure your child it’s not their fault. There’s still a stigma attached to bullying and some children feel they’ve brought it upon themselves. Remind them that many celebrities have been bullied too. Being bullied isn’t about being weak and being a bully isn’t about being strong. 
• Encourage your child to try to appear confident – even if they don’t feel it. Body language and tone of voice speak volumes.

Sometimes people say nasty things because they want a certain reaction or to cause upset, so if your child gives them the impression they’re not bothered, the bullies are more likely to stop. Role-play bullying scenarios and practice your child’s responses. Talk about how our voices, bodies and faces send messages just the same way our words do. 

Don’t let the bullying dominate their life. Help your child develop new skills in a new area. This might mean encouraging them to join a club or activity like drama or self-defence. This builds confidence, helps keep the problem in perspective and offers a chance to make new friends. Ease up on pressure in other less- important areas like nagging about an untidy bedroom.

All schools are legally required to have an anti-bullying policy. Many also offer different forms of peer support where certain children are trained in active listening or mediation skills to help bullied children. In secondary schools they may be called peer mentors, supports, counsellors, listeners or mediators while in primary schools, they might be called friendship or playground buddies, playtime pals or peacemakers.

Lyndall Horton- James, Bullying prevention and education consultant offers the following tips:

• Before your approach the school, list all the facts: what happened, who was involved, when it occurred, who witnessed it, anything your child did that may have provoked the incident, whether it was a one-off or series of events.
• Don’t arrive at the school unexpectedly: make an appointment with the class teacher or head of year.
• Aim to work together with the school and make it clear that you are seeking the school’s help in finding a solution.
• Avoid accusing the school: remember that teachers are usually the last to find out that bullying is happening at school. The sequence is “friends first, then parents, lastly schools”
• Be patient: allow the school time to deal with the problem but stay in touch with them and arrange a follow up meeting to see how the situation is being resolved.

What to do if things don’t improve

Keep a bullying diary. Write down every incident as soon as possible after it happens. Include the date, what happened, who did it and who saw it. Include the effect on your child, whether your child told anyone and what they said or did and any later effects. Tell the school each time. Write down what they say or do and any effect their actions have. If your child is hurt, take photographs and see your doctor (and the police if the assault is serious). Schools have a variety of options for dealing with bullying. These range from warning, seeing the bully’s parents and detention to internal exclusion within the school, fixed term exclusion and permanent exclusion.