Parentline NI – Managing Transitions

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 What is a transition?

A transition is moving from one activity/ environment to another. i.e getting in/ out of the bath, moving house, co-parenting etc…
A lot of adults don’t like transitions either. As our world is big, what we see as little transitions for us, will be big transitions for our children as their world is smaller. Most of the anxiety isn’t due to change… it is due to not knowing what is happening or what is coming. For children, it’s about them having time to prepare for what is coming up.
Use the same wording: If you are potty training at home and you say ‘do you need to do a wee’ then at day care they use ‘pee pee’ the child can’t relate and may have an accident. Certain personalities adapt better to transitions, for example, those who like structure don’t cope well with transitions. If they struggle with transitions try bridging the difficult transition with something that can distract them. i.e songs/ reminders.

 
Transitional objects – Help bridge one environment to the other i.e a comforter


Example: Going back to work- when feeding, use a comforter and rub it on their face, incorporate it into the bonding session. After a while let them hold it while feeding and use this in any environment to help soothe the baby when they’re feeding.

If you’re going to rely on a transitional object buy 2!  You don’t want to risk losing it and also, you can sleep with it for a few nights to get your scent, that way if they’re feeling anxious they can smell it and associate it with you. 
What can we do? Prepare!

Try not prepare too much – use little preparations. Tell them at each step what is happening rather than collectively.

 

  Use visuals:

Flash cards/ Picture exchange – can be used to show what is coming up then took away once that time has passed.
Routine:

Bathtime – if they know they have their bath, get washed then dried, get dressed, have a story then bed, they will start to feel more centred as they will know what’s coming next.

  

School – get prepared by laying out your uniform, getting dressed, having your coat/ lunch box ready. Maybe sing a song when leaving to take the pressure off.
Co-Parenting – Children can struggle with the change in environments. Help children relax with pictures/ familiar items such as teddys with other parents etc… Consistency is key! The more different places are, the higher the jump of transition.